Marriage Talk Podcast Episode 81 focuses on “Managing Regrets.” Here, you’ll find additional written insights from Terry Lodico of Covenant Counseling in Midland, MI.
You may also download the free PDF file (with footnotes) by CLICKING HERE.
A Blueprint to Recover from an Affair
Covenant Counseling – Terry Lodico LPC, NCC, M Div., MA
Regret Management: Regret is a feeling and a pattern of thinking that causes mental distress and self reproach. It is a cause of depression.
- The goal for the offender is to find new hope and emotional energy by converting non-productive regret into productive regret. This is about changing one’s behavior and learning wisdom for the future. It is self forgiving; owning up and moving on.
- Counter Statement: A counter statement is memorized to trigger a healthy thought when you are aware of an unhealthy feeling. For example, the following is a counter statement for regret: “I feel regret. That’s God’s reminder I’ve owned up and moved on. The wisdom I’ve gained from my failure is presently being used by God to move me toward success and blessing. He is resurrecting good things from my past regret.”
- Boundary Statement: A boundary statement is a present tense command statement that protects and redirects negative feeling. A boundary statement starts with either “I will” or “I will not.” For example, “I will not allow regret to drag me down or hold me back from the good things God has for me.” Or, “I will not allow regret to drag me down or hold me back from feeling good about myself and my future, God has a plan for me.”